Facebook 1

So I wake up this morning and do my usual dance; check to see if I'm met with any morning wood, drag myself out of bed and say gday to the pet pooch and make sure she's still alive. All good. Next on the list is the stumble down the hall and log into Facebook. Ah Facebook, how you are such an interesting foe. I used to hate you; believed you were in fact the devil (so much so a friend had to make my account for me!). But like with most people, it slowly found a way into my life by just chipping away with more and more notifications and eventually leaving me with a social hard-on. However i do have three things that turn my Facebook boner upside down. Numero uno - everyone has that friend; that one fucking annoying friend who is such a mad dog he/she just cannot help themselves sharing it to the world. In my case his name is Jordan (hi to Jordan if you're reading this. But instead you are most likely jacking off your supposedly large 12 inch penis, as you announce it to the world by updating your status with your spare hand. Heck mate, if it's that big, just use two hands! I don't wanna know about it.). You are just that cool, that you need to announce every little bender you go on, and tell the world how every sunday morning you got hit by the hangover train. Well so did the rest of the fucking world!  Instead they did a good enough job the night before, that they ended making friends with there toilet bowl in the morning. Meanwhile you're accepting friendships with random middle aged 40 year old men named Mohammed Sanjeet Ramnaresh, in whom you share no mutual friends with - how strange. Anywho, I'll get to my other two peeves later on today. I'm craving a hash brown and the deleting of a freckled kid called Jordan.