Apple

So I am now the proud owner of my very first 'Apple' product. An 8gb Ipod touch. It feels good. My life is now that little bit more complete with the $217 (yeh thats right bitches, got it on sale!) device resting comfortably in my pocket. I will no longer get picked on by all the cool kids at school. No more being pushed into lockers, or having my face dangled over the toilet bowl, while all my pocket money falls out; not just from my pockets but also the secret stash I hide down in my sock as back-up change - I wonder if that's called 'sock money'? Where else could I have hid my money? I mean i suppose if I was desperate enough, I could have added some flavoursome coins to my morning bowl of oatmeal and hoped that my bowel (wow! I love it how the words 'bowl' and 'bowel' are spelt so similarly) movements coincided with lunch time. Then finally, fucking finally, I would have been able to afford myself one of the lunchladys famous sloppy joes. On second thought, maybe I'd be better off selecting a different item off the menu with that money...